remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Randomize
