This dress was meant to end up on your floor
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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