so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
