Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
