Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
