before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
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