Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
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