Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
