I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Randomize
