We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
We got so high we made milksteak
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
