i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
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