I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Still dying that you shit outside
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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