youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
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