Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
