Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I have demons in me.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
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