apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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