I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
