So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
