if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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