A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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