you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Randomize
