My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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