I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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