Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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