thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
home. puking in laundry basket.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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