She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
