my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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