If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
