that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Randomize
