do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Randomize
