yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
