It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Randomize
