Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Randomize
