dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize