do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
