they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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