you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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