I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
