If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Randomize
