and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Randomize
