Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
