Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
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