Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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