If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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