Betty ford says i'm here all night
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Can you bring me the toilet please
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
