lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
