i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
they're like a gay fantastic four
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize
