no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
