He disabled his match.com account in front of me
She said her name was "party"
someone get that fucking seahorse.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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