im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
