if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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