its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
