it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
