I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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