We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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