You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
areolas are like halos for boobs.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
