Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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