I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
