I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
