You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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