at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
