Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
