i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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