dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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