It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
