Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Randomize
