just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Randomize
