Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Randomize
