Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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